The Sum Of Ourselves
by Eleven Eleven
Summary: If they were really destined to be together, like everyone thought, why did they end up apart? Maybe first loves don't account for much after all. Charguel. First Passions fic. Please, no flames.
1. Default Chapter

A/N. Hi, guys. If you're reading this, it means that you've decided to give my story a chance, and for that, I thank you. I admit, I've never written a Passions fic. In fact, my stories have been quite limited in their categories. However, I've always enjoyed watching the show whenever I catch it on TV, mainly for a laugh, yes I admit that too, but also because I quite like the Charguel pairing. I've realised that it's not so popular here, and I blame J.E.R for that, because the on-screen version are rather bland and boring at times. I promise you guys that my version of Charguel won't be so bland and boring. :)

The second thing you need to know, is that I live in Australia and we're currently still in 2002 in regards to Passions. In fact, as I write this, Charguel are one episode away from their wedding day. However, I read ahead at various times last year, and not only do I know that they don't get married after all, but I also know that the actors behind Charguel have left the show, so consequently, Charguel have also left. I'm taking that into account for my story. Nevertheless, I don't actually know much of the details of what's happened to the Bennetts up to the moment, so I've decided that Sam and Ivy are together and Ivy is still wheelchair-bound, and Grace and David are likewise together, but not currently residents of Harmony. If I'm sorta right, then good. If I'm not, then this is AU.

I also don't know how old Charity and Miguel were when they left Harmony, but I figure they're the same age with Miguel being a few months older. I remember Charity (or rather, her Zombie version) turning 18 a while ago, while we were still in the 2001 or 2002 episodes, so I'm saying Charity was 20 when she left.

Lastly, although it really doesn't attribute much to this fic, my Kay is the Deanna Wright version, my Jessica the Jade Harlow one, and my Simone the Chrystee Pharris-Larkins one. They are the versions currently on my screen, and the ones I imagine to be in my story.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story itself.

Welcome to Harmony. The young woman barely held in her groan as the sign loomed ever closer and then passed by, a mess of peeling letters and rotting wood. She was well and truly beyond the point of return, and the thought gave way to a churning that wouldn't vacate her stomach.

"It doesn't look too bad," a forcibly optimistic voice piped up next to her. "I mean...it's kinda quaint."

"Quaint?" Charity Standish echoed, a small but weary smile pulling at her lips.

"Scratch that." The passenger turned around to face her. "You actually _lived_ here?"

"Believe it or not."

"I want to choose not, for your sake, but I get this really bad feeling that you're being serious."

Charity rolled her eyes at her friend, wondering for the fifth time that morning whether she should've persisted in asking Riley to come with her. The idea of returning to Harmony by herself hadn't even been an option, but asking her flatmate to accompany her was probably something she should've abandoned the moment the notion entered her head. Riley was going to positively _die_ here, if he didn't manage to kill all the current residents first.

"Hey, you know I'm just kidding, right?" Riley's hand patted her right leg reassuringly, his face painted with an emotion he seldom expressed: kindness. "It's going to be fine, honey. You're going to be fine."

He wasn't her best friend for no reason. She smiled again, letting herself believe him even though past experience told her not to. It was so easy to have faith when Riley said the right words. If only it was as simple as he made it seem. Of course, her past actions spoke more of the complicated situation more than words ever could. After all, hadn't it been a mere five years since she'd run from this very place in a torrent of tears and misery? Not even Riley's loving self could ever soothe the pain that still remained.

* * *

Jessica Bennett sat in the bedroom she still couldn't quite bring herself to call hers, cradling a stack of bridal magazines in her arms. A piece of paper lay on the bed beside her, a clumsily-drawn sketch of a gown decorating its surface. It was the best she could do, possessing no artistic flair and all. It was too bad the one person she had wanted to help her with the dress wasn't here. Well, not yet. Jessica's insides squirmed a little as her mind drifted to the impending arrival of her cousin. It had been years since they had seen each other, half a decade to be precise, and their last face-to-face encounter hadn't been so great. She had coldly bid Charity goodbye as the blonde girl packed up and left the only family she had known since her mother's death. Now, Jessica sat waiting and wondering what her cousin would say when they met once more.

Of course, she didn't really expect Charity to lash out at her. For one, her cousin wasn't the type to lash out at anybody, and for another, she'd apologised for her behaviour when Charity had first phoned home from New York. They had made their amends years ago and had kept in contact, albeit irregularly, through a series of emails, phonecalls and the occassional letter. Jessica had been desperate for Charity to come back home after their relationship was somewhat restored, and had practically begged her to visit whenever she could. Charity had always refused, though in the most polite ways, preferring to stay far away from the place she once called home. While Jessica could somewhat understand that Harmony was no longer a place her cousin wished to remember, she had never quite believed that the rather meek and mild blonde would ever have the courage to start over someplace else, all by herself. It made her think that perhaps they'd all underestimated Charity a little, happy to overlook her as Miguel's girlfriend, their late aunt's daughter, the good girl. Perhaps they'd never really given Charity a chance, and that thought made her feel a little guilty. Still, she was elated that her upcoming wedding had finally managed to persuade her cousin to return, even if it was only for the week. She knew that it wouldn't be at all easy for Charity to re-visit Harmony and was determined to do her best to make her cousin feel as welcome and as comfortable as she could in a place where she would probably feel neither.

A mechanical rolling noise heralded her soon-to-be stepmother's presence. Jessica looked up as Ivy wheeled into the bedroom, a look of satisfaction on her face.

"I just got off the phone with the florist," the former Crane stated happily. "We're getting the baby's breath especially flown in!"

Jessica hid her smile by pretending to inspect her skirt, but Ivy's usage of the word "we're" instead of "you're" proved just how invested she was in this whole wedding. The young woman had long suspected that despite her mean-spirited ways and spiteful character in the past, Ivy Winthrop _did_ have a heart, albeit an initially empty one when Jessica had first known her, unused in her years of unhappy marriage to Julian Crane. While Ivy's participation in the wedding might have stemmed only from duty and a desire to prove her willingness to accept her partner's children in the beginning, Jessica had sensed changes in the older woman during the last few months. Her excitement seemed genuine, her smiles more effortless. She had even grown accustomed to being mistakenly indentified as the mother of the bride, and no longer hastened to awkwardly explain that she was not related to Jessica.

"Now, we're still waiting for the caterer to get back to us this afternoon," Ivy continued, wheeling forward and catching a glimpse of the pitiful drawing. "Oh...is that the dress?"

Jessica reddened slightly, snatching it up. "It's just a sketch. It'll be a lot better after Charity fixes it."

"So Charity's coming?" Ivy's eyes lit up questioningly. "Does anyone else know that you invited her?"

"No." Jessica paused for a moment before she looked up determinedly. "But it's my wedding. I can invite anyone I want to."

"Of course," Ivy replied swiftly. "I'm just thinking about the way certain people around here might react to her sudden homecoming. That's all."

It was true. Jessica hadn't even thought about her family and friends, and how they would respond when they discovered that Charity was back in Harmony at her request. While she wasn't exactly the most hated being in town, Charity's disappearance had generated a lot of ill feeling, particularly from those around her. Reece and Simone had thought her selfish when she didn't so much as send them a postcard during the years, John had thought her cowardly for running away from her problems, and Kay's hatred for the girl had simply increased when she realized that Miguel would not give up on his love, even if said love chose to run off on him. Jessica bit at her bottom lip, concerned that her surprise guest might not be such a big hit with everyone after all.

The doorbell rang, effectively pulling the young woman from her worried thoughts with a start. Ivy raised an eyebrow at Jessica's face, which was the epitome of anxious, before smartly turning around and wheeling out of the room. Jessica followed hurriedly, half-hoping that it wasn't Charity who stood on the other side of the door just yet. She was in dire need of some time where she could perhaps explain, at least to her fiance, that she had invited her cousin to the wedding and needed everyone to forget about the past five years for just one week, so that her marriage wouldn't end up being an upsetting trip down memory lane. Subconsciously holding her breath upon reaching the front door, Jessica pulled it open hesitantly.

"Jessica? Are you OK?"

The young woman sighed, partly in relief, as she opened the door all the way to allow Miguel in. Following the Hispanic man like a little shadow was her niece, who clutched at Miguel's jacket with both hands.

"Hey, Maria," Jessica bent down to reach the little girl's eye level. "How are you today?"

"Good," Maria whispered, staring at her aunt with wide eyes.

"She's been a little quiet these past few days," Miguel said, smoothing back his daughter's hair. "Dr. Russell thinks she might be coming down with something."

"You poor thing," Jessica commented, kissing Maria's cheek. "Do you want juice? I'll get you some juice."

Miguel followed the young woman curiously into the kitchen, watching as she located a juice box and then searched for a cup for Maria to drink from before realizing that the little girl could drink straight from the box.

"Again, Jess, are you OK? You seem a little distracted."

"I'm not distracted," she answered, all the while wondering if she was selfish to ask Charity to come to the wedding when potentially painful consequences lay waiting for those she cared about, as a result of her request.

"You must be nervous about Saturday," Miguel smiled knowingly.

If you only knew, Jessica thought.

As if to further fuel her nerves, the doorbell rang again. This time, she wasn't so sure she wanted to open the door, but Ivy was nowhere in sight and she was left with little choice but to trudge back through the living room. Grasping the door handle, she pulled it open with an anxious grin. There stood a crimson-haired stranger. Jessica's grin disappeared.

"Can I help you?" she asked, staring at the woman, who reached to fiddle nervously with a fine silver chain around her wrist.

"Hey, Jessica," the stranger spoke up softly, giving her a small smile.

Jessica blinked in surprise, only half-hearing Miguel and his daughter clatter into the room behind her. The strange woman with the dark red hair looked over Jessica's shoulder and presumably saw the two, but her reaction was unexpected: her smile faded. A visible pain entered her blue-gray eyes as Jessica gazed at her, and recognition suddenly coursed through her. The name fought to tumble from her lips, but she was beaten by Miguel, whose rather calm tone made her think that her friend had no trouble in recognizing the woman at all.

"Hi, Charity."


	2. 2

A/N. I wanna thank the two people who reviewed, BloomingViolets and MahagonyMiss. Thanks so much for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Passions-related.

"Hi, Charity."

The greeting was out before he could control his own mouth. Miguel stared at the woman in the doorway, who neither spoke nor moved as she gazed back at him. For a moment, he wondered if he was mistaken. Perhaps she wasn't Charity after all. She certainly didn't look like the girl he'd so often thought about when she disappeared from his life...how long ago was it? Five years? It seemed longer. The Charity he'd known back then was a blonde, pale, delicate creature. This woman was red-haired and fuller-figured. She didn't look much like Charity at all. Except...her eyes. The moment he and Maria had stumbled into her line of vision, a striking and obvious hurt had entered those orbs. It was the same hurt he'd seen more times than he wanted to admit. There was no mistaking that depth of pain.

"Charity!" Jessica gasped, trying to mask her astonishment by throwing her arms around the woman's frame. "You look..."

"Different," Miguel spoke up again, not entirely sure how he was feeling about this. While a part of him wanted to thank God that she'd finally returned, a larger part of him, the part that no longer pined for her, wanted to know why she was here.

"I know," Charity mumbled as she pulled herself away from her cousin's embrace. She looked directly at him for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to speak to him. "Miguel, you look...fatherly."

He couldn't tell whether she meant it snidely or not, because the Charity he'd known five years ago wasn't snide. However, the Charity standing before him now was a complete stranger. Whatever she meant, she didn't bother to elaborate, turning back to Jessica and effectively shutting him out of her view.

"And you, you look gorgeous," she said with a smile, although Miguel noted that she sounded a little sad all the same. "How have the wedding plans been going?"

Wedding plans. There'd been a time in his life when those words meant something to him. Now, they were just redundant, relegated to a whole list of other useless vocabulary. Marriage, love, wife, wedding..._wedding plans_?

"Wait," Miguel interrupted, confusion flooding through him. "You know that she's getting married? How? We haven't seen you in years and now-"

"Miguel," Jessica had turned to him with a look of pleading written all over her face.

"Why wouldn't I know about them?" Charity furrowed her brow, looking between her cousin and Miguel. "What's going on?"

"OK, guys," Jessica started, worry starting to mount in her eyes. "Just hear me out-"

"Did you know that Jess invited me?" Charity ignored her, directing her question at her former boyfriend.

"She invited you?" Miguel repeated incredulously, whirling around to glare daggers at the bride-to-be. "You _invited_ her? I thought you told me that you didn't know where she was."

"She always knew where I was," Charity pointed out. "She had all my numbers and addresses in New York, and we've been in contact throughout the years."

"You had her address!" Miguel sputtered accusingly at Jessica. "You had it all this time and you never thought to give it to me!"

"W-well, I-" she fumbled, but she needn't have bothered.

"You have my address too, Miguel," the redhead narrowed her eyes. "I gave it to you."

"No, you didn't," he responded, slightly surprised by her words. "What are you talking about?"

"I sent you letters, explaining..." she trailed off, her eyes flicking towards the floor for a second before she seemed to pull herself together. "They all had my address on the back."

"I never got a single letter from you," Miguel said quietly, feeling as if he had just fallen off the edge of some very high place.

Charity had written to him? What had she been intending to tell him? It was obvious from the way she'd refrained that it was something significant. After all those years, trying to find her, trying to work out what had happened between them, it had all come down to a bunch of letters. A bunch of letters he'd never even laid eyes on.

"Miguel, you left almost immediately after Charity left," Jessica reminded him gently, eliciting a look of surprise from the red-haired woman. "Maybe your mother or Luis found them and forgot to give them to you."

"Yeah," he agreed hollowly. "Maybe."

"You left Harmony?" Charity asked naturally, raising an eyebrow. "Where did you go?"

An awkward pause filled the air before...

"I wanna go home!"

Maria was clinging to her father's pant leg, grizzling like a petulant child on the verge of a cold, something Miguel had suspected since morning. Quickly gathering her into his arms, he cast an apologetic look towards Jessica, who smiled understandingly.

"Feel better, sweetie," Jessica whispered into her niece's ear as the pair passed by her.

Miguel paused at the front door, where Charity still stood, and wondered if a re-introduction between his daughter and his former girlfriend was necessary.

"Maria, right?" Charity spoke up before he could think of anything intelligent to say.

He nodded dumbly, watching as she leaned closer to his daughter.

"It's nice to meet you again," she shook the little girl's hand, a smile on her lips. Though Maria didn't smile back, she had stopped fussing and was staring at Charity with curious eyes.

"It was nice to see you, Miguel."

The Hispanic man realised that Charity was no longer talking to his daughter, and on impulse, he offered her his hand to shake, just as she'd done with Maria. The young woman appeared surprised by the gesture, but she only hesitated for a second before reaching out and complying. Her grip was a lot firmer than Miguel last remembered, and was gone before he'd even managed to stumble over his reply of "Nice to see you too." And then, she slipped past him wordlessly into the house, leaving behind a faint trace of unfamiliar perfume and a sense of complete bewilderment that swirled uneasily within him, threatening to evoke a past he'd tried so hard to forget.

* * *

Kay sat grouchily in her car, which was parked in Miguel's driveway, griping bitchily under her breath about the man's complete lack of regard for her. He was already ten minutes late; Maria's swimming lesson was at 4 and by the looks of things, they wouldn't make it. Sighing, she leant against the window and allowed her thoughts to fade. Her gaze fell upon the little toy dog on her dashboard, whose bobbing head had caught Maria's attention one afternoon at the mall. It had been a whimsical gift from Lionel to her daughter and the mere memory caused an immediate change in her mood. A smile played on her lips as she mentally pictured his face before her. She caught a glimpse of herself in the car's outside mirror and giggled at the goofy expression displayed there. It was almost embarrassing to acknowledge that the very thought of Lionel could cause her to behave like a teenage girl harbouring a secret crush. But then again, he was Lionel...

They'd met at Grace and David's wedding a year ago. She had been forced into coming out of sheer duty to her mother, and had consoled herself with the fact that she could dampen the entire atmosphere with her sullenness. However, all thoughts of trying to ruin Grace's day flew out of her head the moment he had walked up and asked her to dance.

_"Me?" Kay asked, just to be sure. After all, she knew that she didn't exactly look her best at that moment in time, and this guy was unquestionably handsome. Tall, dark and green-eyed, he was blessed with a pleasing aesthetic quality about his face. As Kay glanced around the hall, it became apparent that she wasn't the only one to notice. _

_"I asked you, didn't I?" he smirked back, before breaking into a smile that revealed his even teeth. He was nothing short of perfect. _

_"I'm sorry," she replied, lowering her gaze. "But I'm not really in the mood to dance."_

_"Why not?" he asked simply, dropping into the vacant chair beside her._

_Before Kay could answer, a giggling child came rushing towards her. Maria pulled herself into her mother's lap and picked at the pink carnation pinned to Kay's dress._

_"Where have you been?" the young mother asked playfully, prying the small hands away from the flower. "I've missed you."_

_"I was dancing with Mr. Reese," Maria smiled, turning to face the strange man next to her mother. "Who is he?"_

_"My name's Lionel," the man supplied, holding out his hand. "Pleased to meet you."_

_Maria held out her own hand and let the man shake it._

_"This is my daughter, Maria," Kay spoke up, before holding out her own hand. "And I'm Kay."_

_She was surprised he was still sitting here, rather than walking off to find another dancing partner like she'd predicted. Men didn't usually give her a second glance these days, particularly when they noticed Maria. However, the presence of her daughter didn't seem to phase Lionel out._

_"I'm sorry," he said after a pause. "I didn't realise you were married."_

_"I'm not married," Kay said quickly. "How very modern of me, right?"_

_Lionel laughed and Kay instantly decided she loved the sound of it. The deep, rich tone was unexpected but it gave rise to a warm, practically fuzzy feeling inside of her. It had been a long time since someone had managed to stir those long-forgotten emotions associated with the more positive aspects of life, and Kay was suddenly very glad she'd come to this wedding._

"Kay?"

The brunette started, banging her head against the car window. Miguel's face peered in from outside. When had he arrived? Reality came rushing back in an instant and Kay's face clouded over.

"We're late!" she exclaimed, opening the door and stomping over to Miguel's car. "Maria's lesson starts in fifteen minutes and we're not gonna get there in time!"

"Kay, I don't think Maria's feeling very well."

"Why? What happened to her?"

"We went to see Dr. Russell this morning and she said Maria might be coming down with a cold."

"My poor baby," Kay leant over to unbuckle her daughter's seatbelt. "Come on, let's get you home."

"I'm sorry we were late," Miguel apologised a little belatedly. "But I had to stop at Jessica's."

Kay merely shrugged off his words indifferently. "What for?" she asked for the sake of civil conversation, as she strapped Maria into her car.

"To help her decide which ties would look best on Reese," he replied off-handedly. "But Reese wasn't there."

"Great," Kay said absently, having not heard one word of what he'd said. Frankly, she didn't care. There had been a time where she would've hung onto every word Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald uttered, but that was in the past. She wasn't the same Kay Bennett she'd been back then.

"So, I guess I'll see you on Tuesday at 12," he commented, bending down to kiss Maria goodbye.

"I guess so," Kay said, a little sarcasm injecting itself into her words.

The effect was lost on Miguel though, who'd already turned and was heading towards his front door. He seemed a little distracted. Kay rolled her eyes and started up her car, looking at her daughter in the rearview mirror.

"How about we get you some nice hot soup to make you feel a little better?"

Maria offered a little nod in response and Kay steered her car in the direction of the Book Café.

* * *

Elsewhere, Riley (having grown bored of the B&B where Charity had left him) had ventured out to brave the streets of Harmony all on his own. He smirked at his own thoughts, looking around at the old-fashioned architecture that surrounded him. The supposed small-town charm was having absolutely no effect on him. Perhaps he was just simply too jaded to be romanced by the 'quaintness' of Harmony. Ugh. Even the town's name was just a little too cute. Up ahead, he spied what appeared to be a café. His need for caffeine was greater than his disdain for the place and so he made his way across the street, hoping that they had decent coffee at the Book Café. 


End file.
